American Pie 37

Transcript:

Things have quietened down a little since Finchy passed. Oh, we still like a joke or two. I sometimes tease Stifler about his mom being a ‘DGGILTK’. That’s a Dead Great Grandmother I’d Like To Kiss. I changed the last word because we’re too old for all that nonsense now and I added the ‘To’ to the acronym because it really bothers me when people leave out those words in order to make an acronym more snappy. Of course it goes straight over Stifler’s head because he is in the advanced stages of Altziemer’s.

All the best,

Killer gran hell

A rollicking rampage of octogenarian revenge, torn flesh, and laser canons.

My grandmother was chopping carrots when it happened. By ‘it’ I of course mean the laser razor ray slicing though the ceiling and into her brain. Oh yes, after that things between me and gran started to get a little, how shall we say… absolute terror shock of murder violence, not to put too fine a point on it. She instantly threw the knife she was holding. It went through the right arm of my Gap t shirt and pinned me to her terrible antique screen. I could see carrot juice still wet on the blade and regretted wearing such a bad t shirt for this unexpectedly exciting scene.

Her campaign of violent retribution has begun. One by one she is out to get each of her grandchildren. Only I can stop her.

Best regards,

Cosmopolitan

10 signs he’s interested:
1) You are currently having sex. etc…

Your body confidence – stripped bare

Want to know what men really think? We’ve been getting real guys to confess all. It’s time to get inside the mind of… Hegel.

Have a good week,